I haven't written anything in a long time. Not because I don't have tons on my mind, but for the fact that I don't feel like anyone should be subjected to my melancholy moods. I've really been battling lows lately. My husband and I have hit some bumps in the road in the past couple of weeks and I can't help but feel that with all of the good things that have happened lately that the bad was bound to come. We all go through the highs and the lows, don't we?

This past week has been flat out horrible. We found out that my husband's uncle was killed instantly in a horrific car accident at the age of 56. I received very disheartening news from one of my clients. We had a serious falling out with our former landlord (he's gone off his rocker and decided that money and control are more important than an established relationship and reference).

The fact that I'm pregnant is definitely wreaking havoc on my emotional state. Anything and everything make me turn bright red in anger or crumple up into a sobbing heap. I'm at a point where it's all becoming reality. My pregnancy is starting to show, the baby's been moving, we've purchased furniture for the nursery, and I'm starting to have very real fears about being a mother. This is something that I have wanted and dreamed about my entire life and I'm certain that when it comes down to it that I'll be the best mother I can. But the truth is I am terrified.

However, no matter how many tears I shed or how down I feel, the moment that I feel that little person kick me it all disappears and the world stands still. I haven't even seen that tiny little face, but just the mere fact that baby has kicked me brings light into my world and a smile to my lips.

Logic tells me that everything is going to work out and that I should just relax and enjoy the ride. Fear tells me that this slump will continue and my life is going to be disorganized chaos. Come on logic...I need you to win...